Lately, I have been feeling weird. Maybe because so much has changed this year and it is now coming to an end? Or maybe because it is now officially the holidays and I don’t want them to be ruined by something else I find out?
Or maybe it is just a million things at once flooding my brain and making me filled with anxiety and a little anger… I am not sure.
Once you go through betrayal nothing really seems to fall back into place. No matter how BADLY I WANT things to, they just are not slipping back into place. I am DROWNING.
Betrayal SUCKS. It sucks so badly and only those of us who have been through betrayal trauma know what I mean. ONLY those of us who have been through it.
I have literally been a hermit all year long. I am not lying. It has been crazy and weird. Yet, this year still flew by so fast. I am sad because years fly by so damn quickly!
I know I feel this way because I have kids. My babies are growing up and maybe I am scared of that. Well, I KNOW I am scared of this. Why? Because I don’t want to be alone alone.
Would if, when my kids leave and start living their own lives, I am also left behind by the one who betrayed me? Would if????
Then I would be ALL ALONE. And, I would be too old to get involved with another relationship so I would just be ALONE. For…