This is such a touchy subject, trust me, I know. And, when you are going through this shit, it just SUCKS. There is no other way to put it.
I really wanted to talk about betrayal trauma and the effects it has on us all who have gone through it or are going through it. I guess you never really get over it, so ya, all of us who are GOING through it..still.
*My affiliate link is in this post because I need money for a damn therapist. Feel free to check out my Amazon Storefront, thanks*
I remember the day this became MY reality. The day my life was turned upside down and stopped making any kind of sense. The life I was living, wasn’t real anymore. It was FAKE. ALL OF IT WAS FAKE. Well, I wasn’t the fake one, but ya…
My life has never ever been the same since that horrible damn day. I felt SOO damn alone and just wanted to hide but I couldn’t because I have kids. But oh how I wanted to disappear!!!
My life had to go on though because I was a mom after all and moms don’t just stop living if something bad happens, right? So, I still got up, I was still present, and I did what I had to do each day to not only SURVIVE but to also be there for my littles.
Fast forward to today. It has been 9 years since the first initial ‘finding out’ and 9 years living with a betrayal I still cannot fully understand. I still have no idea WHY it happened and I STILL cry a lot.
I wasn’t only deceived and lied to by my one and only, I was also lied to and deceived by my own flesh and blood. Talk about a DOUBLE freaking whammy.
Oh ya, if you ONLY knew the full story. But, I don’t want to ‘out’ anyone. I wish I could be anonymous right now because there is SO much I WANT to say. I really should invest in a therapist but I have no money for that so….
Let’s just say I hope it gets better. I hope that something good comes from this super terrible experience and the life I am now living. Maybe writing will help me work through this crap, I sure hope so.
I lost SO much faith 9 years ago. I lost myself, and I also lost a few people from my extended family. I was betrayed by people I would have died for.
Betrayal absolutely SUCKS SOOOO damn bad. The feelings and memories will never fade, or at least they have not for me… yet. You THINK you know the people you love but you DO NOT. Well, maybe you DO, but now I just question everything and everyone. I don’t trust ANYONE anymore.
Will life EVER be the same? Is there someone out there I can trust and talk to? Are you going through this shit too?
Anyway, being absolutely heartbreakingly betrayed freaking SUCKS!!! Thanks for reading.
And, if you want to read a supportive blog, I came across this one on Blogger.